Please, Just… No

Posted on Sun Mar 10th, 2024 @ 3:01am by Nathaniel Cunningham & Dominique LaFramboise

Mission: Daemoniacus Tribulatio
Location: Mayor’s Office

Nicki had been pleased to find that she had been summoned to the Mayor’s Office. After all, it saved her the trouble of having to set up a meeting and possibly wait for days to see him. She also didn’t mind waiting, which was good as her meeting with him was supposed to start fifteen minutes ago. She opted to just sit and stare into space, hoping to unnerve the receptionist, who was pretending to ignore her.

She needed to find some way to amuse herself, after all.

Jarrod had gone to see someone about a job, so she was on her own today. She didn’t mind that, either, to be honest. She had learned to be independent in college. She welcomed his company when he was able to be there, but didn’t mind going it alone.

The receptionist glanced her way and she smiled in what she hoped was a dry and unfriendly way. Mind games with strangers were so fun!

It took a few more minute before the door opened and mayor Tim Barnes put his head out of the door. Without waiting for acknowledgment, he picked out Nicki. "Ah, Ms. LaFramboise, I'm sorry to keep you waiting, please join us," he said, moving out of the doorway for her to enter. Shutting the door after her, he motioned towards another man who had stood when she entered the room. "Please meet Special Agent Josiah Lee of the Criminal Investigation Division. Agent Lee wanted to speak to you as well, if you don't mind."

“The more the merrier,” she replied dispassionately. “Good morning, Agent,” she added to the other man.

The agent held out his hand to Nicki. "Good morning, Ma'am. I would say it's a pleasure to meet you, but I'd be lying, and I do not wish to waste my time or yours with useless pleasantries."

Mayor Barnes motioned Nicki to sit down. "I've already spoken to Mr. Cunningham," he said, although an astute listener might well have heard a muttered "Major" coming from Agent Lee. "I'd like to verify with you before this situation goes any further. Let me make sure we have the course of events down. Some time ago a werewolf and her vampire lover summoned a demon slash pagan deity for reasons unknown. The vampire was killed and the werewolf was possessed. Since then it has gone on... joyride for lack of a better term causing havoc at low-brow establishments. You lot, and we'll come back to who that entails in a minute, worked out the next target and decided to try and lay a trap that seems to have blown up in your face. Is that the gist of it?"

Nicki was glad she had gotten a heads up about the mayor from Fred, even if she didn’t like the wolf much. It made her job easier. Because of the information, she knew to keep what she knew close and only give him the information he already had. She nodded slowly, pretending to think. “Sounds like you’ve been given accurate information,” she commented after only a few seconds.

"Very well. I had the city attorney look into it, and you do, irritatingly, have the ability to deputize others to assist in your efforts," the man groused. "Mr. Cunningham claims to be operating as such, along with several others. We'll need a list of those you did, in fact, deputize so as to avoid charging them with vigilantism."

Nicki’s left eyebrow went up, but her expression remained otherwise unchanged. “This is supe business,” she reminded him. “And as such, we are the ones who will take care of it. Just go ahead and assume that all witches, Lycans, and Vampires are authorized.”

The mayor sighed. "Ms. LaFramboise, I think you misunderstand. I may not be happy about it, but I am, more or less on your side here. The country sheriff and district attorney are both Republicans. Their party is already sending out the scaremongering sound bites. Just assume isn't going to cut it with me or them. Names, or you can expect a subpoena to testify about it in court. Well, unless the sheriff actually gets a judge to issue an execution warrant. One hasn't been issued in over 30 years, but the law has never been repealed and video clips of someone claiming to be a demon and assault law enforcement with magic are a new one too."

Nicki sighed heavily. “There is… so much wrong in there, I hardly know where to begin,” she said. “The reason we don’t want humans helping isn’t because we don’t think you can; it’s because unless you know what you’re doing, it is incredibly dangerous. The less you know, the less chance there is that someone will take their temper out on you or torture you for the information. Even just calling me here was risky, to be honest. Next, I urge you to discourage the sheriff from getting the judge to insure an execution warrant for two very important reasons: one- if the demon gets wind of it, it’ll go after the Sheriff and unless the Sheriff has the training and experience with demons, I don’t think he’ll stand a chance. And two- killing the human host of the demon will not kill or destroy the demon; it will merely set it free. Which doesn’t seem like a huge deal, but as of now, we know who the demon looks like and that makes them easier to find. If they’re set free, they could possess literally anybody- you included- as we won’t know where to look.

“Lastly, I’m asking you politely to just stay out of this. We will handle it and we’d rather not put anybody else in danger if we can help it. If the Sheriff, judge, governor, and even the president don’t like it, ask them if they’re prepared to deal with a demon. Then send them to me and I’ll explain all this to them, too.”

The mayor's expression hardened. "I have no ability to force the sheriff or the district attorney to do anything. Sadly, neither can I force you to do anything, but make no mistake, neither they nor I are going to 'stay out of it' when supernatural violence spills into the streets. My sole ability to persuade was predicated on you being willing to play ball with me to outplay their own game. The sheriff is probably smart enough to keep himself from being a martyr but I doubt he'll mind martyring a few deputies to get what he wants. Still, I know a lost cause when I see one. I trust your contact information is on file properly. Agent Lee wanted to speak with you."

With the Mayor done, Agent Lee set a few photos down on the table that showed Nicki dancing at the bar. "I promise to be easier to deal with. My superiors would far prefer to foster off-the-books cooperation with you. The issue is, that cooperation cannot become public, both for posse comitatus act reasons, and because of the need to keep certain faces out of the media. This time, we have no problem with plausible deniability. Cristobal Rios is known to frequent the establishment on a semi-regular basis, after all. That was the warning I was told to give. As for the rest, perhaps we could talk somewhere with fewer ears worried about their election prospects?"

“I think that would be preferable, yes,” agreed Nicki, already liking this guy a lot better. “Did you have anywhere in mind?”

Lee thought for a moment. "Boricua's over on Strawberry Alley," he said. "The owner was a cop before he became a vampire. He knows how to be discrete and doesn't tolerate loose lips from the staff either."

“Sounds like my kind of guy,” replied Nicki, standing. “Shall we?” she offered.

---

Twenty minutes later the two were squirreled away at a small high-top in the back corner of the small Puerto Rican bar. The agent waited for the wait staff to bustle off before recentering on Nicki. "Thank you. The mayor doesn't need to hear everything. He's a decent sort, for a politician, but obviously a bit over-concentrated on his election prospects. Although he's not wrong about the opposition, but that's between you and him." He shrugged it off. "Not that I said that." He stopped and looked at Nicki, waiting to see what she did.

Nicki had never been a fan of politicians. She felt they were always just pandering to whichever group would get them the most votes rather than acting out of any real conviction and that irked her. “I’ve always liked the idea of term limits,” she replied. “One seems a good number. But yeah, he doesn’t need to know everything.”

"Especially not given his apparent penchant for adhering to the law," responded the man. "Let me reiterate what was said earlier. Certain people who shall remain nameless are happy to share, within the bounds of deniability. I'm not going to ask how you borrowed this particular one, but perhaps consider in the future that witnesses are the worst keepers of secrets known to man."

“True story,” agreed Nicki a bit grimly. “Although I will point out that I wasn’t aware it was a secret until after the fact.”

"Fair enough. It was for future reference. It's also nice to see a group of hounds setting up shop in the area. Not to pry into things that aren't my business, but do you plan on expanding numbers?"

“Absolutely,” replied Nicki. “We haven’t had a chance to recruit yet, but we intend on building a pack.”

"I thought a pack was what the wolves called themselves, and that hounds were a Leesh? Have you finally given in and ceded that one to the foxes so they can stop referring to themselves as a skulk?"

Nicki grinned. “No, we’re still called the Leesh,” she replied. “Pack is just a generic term that just about all Lycan use when we’re the only ones. I’m the only Lycan here- well, except the lion on the other side of the room, but at this table, it’s just me- so I said pack. But, between you and me, I think foxes secretly like calling themselves a Skulk.”

"I can neither confirm nor deny that a certain agency believes they resemble that name a little too closely," he said, amused. "I would ask, as a courtesy, that you refrain from turning anyone who is the property of the United States Government. We would love for Congress to get rid of that particular annoyance, but until then..." he shrugged.

“It’s usually a rule among Lycians that military personnel have to have written permission from the Commander in Chief to join a pack,” she replied. “Although I only know of one person who actually went to the trouble of getting it.”

"Something to keep in mind," said Lee. "Well, I believe enough of your time has been taken up. Should you ever want or need to, you know how to get our attention."

Nicki nodded. “Start a fight with a demon in a honky tonk,” she said cheekily, adding a wink so it was clear she was joking.

The man laughed. "Good day, Ms. LaFramboise."